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Bullying Has Come to An End!!

Would that be the GREATEST thing ever?  If bullying could just vanish Like that? Poof!!!

Reality isn’t so sweet.  My Sunday mornings are spent catching up on my shows and scouring through my news feed.  Today, I came across a woman on a page who wants to take her child out of high school because of bullying., and turn around and home school her.  It breaks my heart that a mother is put into this position to even have to make this choice. But here’s the truth,  bullying isn’t going away.  It just isn’t.  Have you SEEN social media in the last 5 years?  People, adults AND children, hide behind their keyboards and spew words of disgrace and disrespect to people from down the street and across the world.  It’s here to stay, whether we like it or not.

Can we hide our children from this?  No, hell no.  People are cruel and mean.  So, the plan behind the current parenting generation is to HIDE them from the evil words that are spewed.  And THIS is why we have “safe spaces”.  People need to stop hiding their children from the bullying and teach them to stand up to them.  They need to teach them that words are just words.  And the reality of a bully is that a BULLY feels so insecure about themselves that they need to lash out at others in order to feel good about themselves.  We need to stop raising our children to be wimps and teach them to be strong minded individuals, who can ignore words and hurt people with their own individual success whether its on a test, or a grade, or a fad new style.  Because when they grow up and become adults, they are required to move away from home and get a job and maintain one.  Real America is a HARD, competitive environment.  And a lot of individuals will need to be hard headed and resilient to stand up and succeed.  Its simple.  Our jobs, as parents, is to raise successful, well rounded, kind, strong individuals, so when the world takes them, they are not chewed and spit out, and end up back in their parents basement, or worse, a liberal.

Its fairly simple.  Teach your children to NOT be cruel to others and teach them to be RESILIENT against words

“Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” –Unknown

Thats what my parents taught me, and thats what I teach my own.  And one day, they will teach their own children that phrase..

Because, words are only words. Happy Sunday!

 

 

The new Century of Americans Being Un-American.

clock-social-media

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.”
― Abraham Lincoln
This is still one of my all time favorite quotes from, in my opinion, the greatest leader of our country. And how right is he? I mean, if you look at the last 18 months of politics and how divided we’ve become over two parties, who are way smaller than the American people. yet, we all believe that these parties define us. They don’t. I am an American, before I am a Republican. I am a mother before I am a Republican. I am a Military member before I am a republican. I am Human before I am Republican. We are literally destroying ourselves within the borders, instead of coming together on common ground. What is that common ground?  It’s easy, “love Thy neighbor“, regardless of sex, race, religion, or sexual orientation.  We are ALL humans.  I know I want to live in a safe, free, country.  And our leaders WILL not be able to take that from us, no matter how hard they try.  We spend far too much time on social media bringing others down because their opinions are different than our own.  Who cares?  If we all agreed on everything, this world would be extremely boring and everyone would be the same.  I don’t know about you, but I like not being like everyone else.
On the current administration, watch.  Just wait and see what happens.  No one can predict the future, or what a person will do.   Our country has three branches of government in there, so that not one has more power over the others, including the President.  We have checks and balances.  When this country was created, it was created by men who had a vision of a free world.   That will never change.  We, the People, won’t allow it.  If he screws up, call him out, but with legit facts, not on a basis that you dislike him.  Everything he’s done since taking office, is NOTHING different than the previous administration did.  Our country just wasn’t as politically divided then.
Think about this for a minute, if you were to walk down the street, and pass people, would you be able to tell if the 4 people you passed were Republican or Democrat?  Nope, you would be able to tell that they were simply human.
I am so simply disgusted about the things I read on Facebook, all because people see things differently, Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, and they all stink!!!
Stop destroying one another, and for fucks sake, stop thread comments that are simply unintelligent and anger driven.  If you’re more worked up about something someone says on Facebook that you disagree with, you need to truly re-evaluate your life and what’s important to you, because your priorities are completely fucked..
***This rant was driven by constant lack of compassion for one another on social media.. It’s simply becoming an epidemic.***

Un-Comfort Grey

I bought a house last summer.  As a first time buyer, I’ve jumped on the renovation train and slowly had projects going on at my house.  One of the simpler projects was a nice new coat of paint for my bedroom.  I’ve scrolled Pinterest for weeks on end, trying to find that tranquil color to make my bedroom a nice retreat from my kids..  I finally found a suitable shade and decided that while my daughter was at her Gymnastics, Hunter and I would hit up the local Lowes.

With my not-so-thrilled 9 year old, we ventured into my 2nd home and straight for the paint section.  As I admired the gazillion and one paint colors, with Hunter finding every single hideous color, I FINALLY found it, Comfort Grey by Sherwin Williams.  a little too excited, I proceeded to the counter and waited patiently as the lady helped other patrons.

“I’d like this color, five gallons please.”  The lady scribbled on the sample my order and Hunter and I scurried to find the rest of things on the list while it was being mixed.

We headed back to the counter to grab our paint and I scanned the counter.  There was a LARGE bucket and 4 other gallons of other people’s paints sitting so nicely. I don’t see my paint.  Hmm.

“Mom, its this one,” as Hunter points to the large bucket that I clearly can’t carry.  my face drops.  There’s no way, I think to myself.  I didn’t order….five gallons….Oh Shit. I totally ordered five gallons, as I finally see the name of it.

“Your total is 158 dollars” I’m pretty sure I was sweating at that moment.  Can I return this?  do we run from the store and leave the paint?  I swallow my pride and acted like this is exactly what I wanted, and finally slid my card.

There’s no one in the world that I love to tell my blond moments to, more than my mother.  So luckily, she calls me just after I’ve picked up the daughter from Gymnastics.

“So you wanna hear something I just did?  I TOTALLY just bought five gallons of paint for my bedroom”, I tell my mom, laughing at my own self for for moment.

“well what the hell did you do that for?!?!” She’s trying her hardest to hold back the laughter.

We continue to brainstorm on what the hell I can do with five gallons of paint. -giving out gallons to my neighbors on the block, repainting my office at work, repainting her ENTIRE house.  Finally, I have the idea “I’ll just paint my garage!!!!” There’s no color in there, bare walls, it’ll look awesome.

Of course my mother has to chime in, “Sure, until you get too drunk and confuse your garage for your bedroom and pass out there”  Well played mother, well played.img_6721

Anyone want 4four gallons of paint?

Ice Storm 2017- Netflix reviews

Living in the St Louis Metro, you learn to accept that weather here is bipolar.  For instance, earlier during the week, it was 71 DEGREES!  Serious! And this weekend, its been nothing but freezing rain and sleet.  I’m not really complaining, other than the fact that I still have to go grocery shopping.  I wish I could say I was productive around the house these last few days, but the only thing I’ve managed to do was finish seasons on Netflix.  So instead of showing you my accomplishments around the house, I’ll share my reviews of TV shows from Netflix.

“One Day At A Time”- This Netflix Original is hilarious.   It’s about an Army Veteran who’s a single mom and throw in the Strong Cuban background, it got all my feels going.  I started watching it because a friend of mine referred me to it.  NO joke, the characters are terrific.  I could relate to a lot that the single mom had to deal with. I laughed; I cried; I got angry.  Theres a lot of references to what our veterans really do deal with, in regard to the VA, PTSD, children, and dealing with civilians who’ve never served.  Click here to see what IMDb has to say on it, and see some good trailers.

“Fuller House” – If you grew up watching “Full House”, this is one you cannot miss.  Considering the amount of original characters that are in these episodes, you feel like they never really left.  I actually think that this series made me laugh more than “Full House” ever did.  Theres only two seasons, but I cannot wait until the next series.  The one reason I enjoyed “Full House” was the morals it was base around.  “Fuller House” has the exact same ones.  It teaches foundations of families and getting along and how no one family is the same.  This is something that most series today are missing.  I loved it and I cannot wait until season 3!  Hurry up Netflix!

I will probably finish another series. OR possible do something more productive!  Who cares, its nasty outside and I plan on going absolutely NO WHERE 🙂 Happy Ice Storm! Stay Safe And stay warm!

 

’17- My Financial Stability

I’ve struggled over the years; the last six to be exact.

Some people have asked me how the hell I did it.  To be honest, when you have no other choice but to float, you float.  Two children’s well-being depended on it.  I floated though a long, drawn out divorce.  To this day, I still don’t receive child support.  I floated. There were some days, I felt like I was drowning.  I couldn’t catch a break. we were eating ramen noodles for a few days before I got my next paycheck. I was in a financial hole, so deep, I wasn’t sure I’d ever see a 600 credit score.  Most of my credit card APRs were 25% and up.  I’d get one card paid off, and then something would happen, like my engine throwing a rod the month I paid off the loan.  Or my transmission would go out right after Christmas.  Emergency fund???? What the hell was that?  I was hurting, and I felt I couldn’t get out.

Fast forward to 2017.  And here I sit.  I bought my FIRST house as a single mom, with one income, and with A LOT of BUDGETING. Now, keep in mind I am still in debt.  BUT it’s not terrible anymore AND I haven’t missed a payment in 5 years.  I still am far from debt free, but the reality is, I refuse to be negligent and get back to my financial hole. Below is some key principles I keep, EVERY paycheck(2 times per month).

√ .    Write down your bills that are due. I use sticky notes and put them in my agenda that goes EVERYWHERE with me.

√.    MEAL PLAN. This is the simplest yet, most efficient task I do.  I used to spend almost 500 a month on 3PEOPLE…Yeah, I changed that, simply by planning.  My meal plan is 7 meals.  We eat left overs, so very rarely do I plan any more than that, because we eat left overs from every meal. I also don’t do go crazy on meals with 8 different recipes.  SIMPLE, like pork tenderloin and BBQ sauce in the slow cooker. BOOM, best pulled pork sandwiches ever.  Excluding frozen pizzas, I try and avoid the ready to make dinners.  I’ve found they are not only expensve, but flavorless and full of  sodium. My grocery bill is now $76 dollars for the 1st of the month grocery trip(excluding animal supplies and laundry) and 89 for the 15th’s shopping time. I make two lists for groceries.  One for Aldi’s, and one for the local grocery store’s where I get some bulk meat, dog food, cat food, and laundry from.

√.   I ensure I put SOMETHING into savings every single month. Right now, its $400.a month.  Once I reach my goal, I will allot that money to somewhere else, like a credit card bill.  Right now though, it’s important to always have a small cushion, for those  ‘holy shit, my hot water heater just cramped out’ moments.

√.    The envelope budget just didn’t work for me.  but what I did do, since its free with my financial institution to set up checking accounts, I made one I labeled “filler”.  It’s the account where I add a certain amount a paycheck (right now its 50) and that is there for new tires on my vehicle, vet appointments, GLASSES, whatever else little thing that comes up that isn’t a normal bill. This is the money I use to fall on so I don’t have to touch my savings account.  I only put 50 a paycheck right now, but it fluctuates.  I used to have a budget for all that stuff,  but I had a hard time keeping up with it and when I needed money for one thing, i took it from another.  So that’s why I just added them all together and put that into my filler account.

√.    NO SPEND pay Periods.  I thought I was going to die.  14 whole days of not spending a dime.  I made it though.  So now, I do it when I want.  Like, for instance, this pay period, I decided to do it.  I’ve done all the budgeting, savings, grocery lists.  The only thing I spend money on is that first day.  Gas and groceries.  I do extra shopping when I do this.  But mainly because it’s for fillers, like frozen pizza or ravioli.  I’ve found that having those quick meals on hand during no spend periods, curves the want to hit the drive thru on my way home.  Especially on days where it was long and mom just doesn’t feel like cooking (hey, I’m human).

 √.    REWARD yourself!!  Seriously, what is more important than giving back to yourself and I don’t mean by setting up a savings for retirement.  I mean a SOON reward.  My reward to myself is a vacation, to EUROPE!  It’s one that I’ve been planning for many years, and this year, I finally was able to do it.  it can be whatever you’d like a vacation to an exotic place, a trip to the day spa, new car parts.  I just priced out my trip (tickets,  trains, spending money, etc. $5,000 total). it took a while to have my dream come true.

√.      Cut cable.  I only spent a few hours a week watching TV, and usually that was to catch up on all my DVR’ed shows, which HULU carries and if they don’t, I can order it off Amazon Prime.  Hell, I am so behind in all of my shows, that I will just find a day off and binge watch everything. This alone saves me an average of $50/month

√.     I cut my cell phone data package.  I’ve been a loyal Verizon member since 2011.  I used to have the unlimited data plan, but really needed a new phone and guess what, had to lose it.  Worst mistake.  Anyway, I do the 4GB a month for I dk how much.  But on the months that I go over, I have this awesome thing that Verizon has that is called Safety mode.  When you go over, instead of having to buy more Data, Safety mode just takes your speed from a 4G speed to 2GB.  I haven’t even noticed a difference in loading.  I only use my data from maps, when I need them, Pandora when I run, and my fitness apps when I workout.  I don’t know all the technical specifics on doing this “safety Mode”, but if my Pandora still streams and my MapMyRun still logs my workouts, I am a happy camper.This saves me $20/month.

There’s no one specific way to do your budget.  I make decent money, but I struggle different times of the year and I’ve found what works for me.  The most important thing is that you still always save, whether it’s the filler fund, an emergency fund, or your reward fund, always put something away every paycheck.

Happy 2017 and hopefully you can use a few of my tips to help create what works for you.

 

**photo credit: http://picturesofmoney.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cash-on-the-dresser.jpg

 

 

 

A letter to the Man who gave me everything I needed, by leaving

I’ve been single for A LONG TIME.  I was married at 19 and divorced at 25.  I have two kids from the result of that.  And there is not a day that goes by that I don’t thank him, for leaving us.

Dear@#$%$%$#

Thank you.  Doesn’t that sound weird, saying that, even after almost 7 years of being apart.  It was literally the GREATEST thing you’ve ever done for me, and our children.  At the point you were at in your life, you were not ready for that entire life that was given to you.  I don’t blame you.  A wife, two kids, a dog, cats, and a house.  I mean, thats a lot for a 21 year old.  That was one of my favorite chapters though.  not because it was spent with you, but because of what came out of it, our children.

Not even going to lie, I’ve enjoyed being the only one to clean up their owies, to wipe the tears, to argue with who showers first.  my WHOLE life surrounds them.  And it encourages me to be as successful as I can be, because I have no support from you. I’ve climbed the ladder so fast at work, it insane.  I push myself hard, further, faster, to the point of exhaustion, just so that I do not have to worry about putting food on the table. I make MORE money on my own because I SAVE.  My bank account doesn’t overdraft.  I am in debt, but I bought a house, ON ONE INCOME.  THANK YOU.  Thank you for that.

Thank you for showing me what I do not want in a man.  Your empty promises and talk with no action is exactly what I steer away from now.  Ive actually been seeing man as of late, and he’s absolutely the most wonderful person I’ve ever met.  Thank you for leaving me, so I could meet him, and the past relationships I’ve had.  Every single guy I’ve dated positively influenced my life and they all gave me hope that your trip was few and far between.

Thank you for abandoning your children.  That is literally one of the greatest gifts you’ve given them.  The empowerment to know who actually truly does love them.  There is no doubt in my mind that you care about them, but over the course of 7 years and only two visits, I see how they are not your priority.  And that’s fine.  Because they have me.  Trust me, you’re walking away at the time you did, in the phase of your life you were in, was the BEST possible thing you could’ve ever done.  THANK YOU!  you saved your children from the views of what an awful man, and awful father looks like.

I know one day, you’ll come to your senses and get your shit together to be good father.  Until then, never worry about them.  I have this.  I have this so well that they will never know just how big of a douche you truly are.

Thank you again, for making my dreams come true by walking away!  I’ve never ever been happier.

Open letter to my children

I wasn’t sure how to start out my very first blog until tonight around the dinner table with my offspring, boy 7 and girl 9. For some reason, it just clicked

Dinner time in my house can be hectic.  I try to manage dinner, homework, bills and keeping the gross things from growing in the sink from last night’s dinner without sprouting another grey hair. These little minions I’ve spawned have definitely grown up. So babies, here’s my open letter to you.

Dearest children,

I wanted to first off, apologize for my yelling. I know I seem to always be correcting you. Whether it’s your tone, messy room, teeth not brushed, I do it for good reasons. It may take you years to realize them, but your significant others will thank me down the road. I’m sorry for the countless deployments. Momma has missed over a year of your little lives, but I do it for good reason. Not just because it’s my job, but because I want to be a part of ensuring the world you’re given when your older, is one you can thrive from. I will push you to try harder in school. I will always correct your manners. You will continue to get grounded when you miss behave. I will tuck you in every night I can. Bottom line, momma will always ensure you grow up to be the best possible person, you can be.

Thank you for always being my rocks. Life’s hard with just the three of us. Momma feels it, you both feel it. Sometimes I get down, like the world has defeated me, like the rays of sunshine will never be again, but you two, you two change everything with a smile and a laugh. Your laughter, is contagious. Did you know that? Did you know your simple hugs just melt my worries away? Thank you for that. I still don’t know how I got so lucky having you as my offspring, but seriously, you’re both totally.awesome.

We still have many years ahead of sacrifices, heartache,  laughs and memories. Keep them coming. Because without you two, momma would never, ever be the person I am today. You are the reason that everything I do, I do it to the fullest. And someday, I hope you two know, that my success is completely because of you.